Wednesday, September 21, 2016
MY story about a lady.
once upon a time there was a lady called ana she was so pretty she was getting ready for her wedding then sh then she got more she was walking her heels fall in the mud when e stopped to look for her wedding dress she looked and looked until she found it in the cupped then she put lots and lots of makeup on with her high heels then she walked into the forest with her heels when she was getting married she falt in barst in front of everybody so she walked away in the forest when she was walking her heels fall in the mud then she got more angry so she cupped on walking with mud splashing on her so then she head baris tweeting and helping ana fikest her dress so she went back to get married then they lived happily ever after.
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Maria, you have some good ideas in your stories. You have a problem and a solution. I also love that you have used those classic fairytale beginning and ending - 'once upon a time' and 'they lived happily ever after'.
ReplyDeleteYou have added some details like her heels fell in the mud then she got more angry, mud was splashing on her, she heard the birds tweeting. That is awesome!
Next steps - paragraphs, and using full stops and capital letters in the right place. It helps structure and organise your ideas so it makes more sense when you read it.
And another next step - spelling!
birds
fixed
cupboard
felt
embarrassed
Maria,I love how you put a lot of effort into your story I love how you used a lot of amazing ideas I love it keep it up!!
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