PEOPLE ON IT HAVING FUN?

Once there was a man his name was Michael. He us to be a brave boy  with his friends called Peter Pan. They were going to play on the  high tops  when they  went on it they never. Saw  the ladder was  broken so they looked and looked on the ground michael had to go down to get  it they came back up got the tools  to fix it so they can   played  there for half an awer then they 

had to go back home cause they mum mit get upset

that where  is her kids and cry causa she thinks that 

so one came to kidnap them until they mum,dad saw them come back home with Michael's friends then they lived happily ever after.

MY story about a lady.

once  upon a time there was a lady called ana she  was so pretty she was getting ready for her wedding then sh then she got more she was walking her heels fall in the mud when e  stopped to look for her wedding dress she looked and looked until she found it in the cupped then she put lots and lots of makeup on with her high heels then she walked into the forest with her  heels when she was getting married she falt in barst in front of everybody so she walked away in the forest when she was walking her heels fall in the mud then she got more angry so she cupped on walking with  mud splashing on her so then she head baris tweeting and helping ana fikest her dress so she went back to get married then they lived happily ever after.  

haunted story

Once upon a time there was a man called BoB he was THE only person brave then he went with his car to THE deep dark forest that had grampy wolfs  with foggy trees that was so whomagest that could not ever come off so he was walking through the forest then he STOPPED look around causa he could hear some  grumpy wolfs   then BoB was charging to go back but he doesn't remember which way to go so BoB  was so frightened that he thought he could not go back causa the wof they were blocking his way that he can't get out  then BoB clambered the tree so BoB stayed there for half an answer to the grumpy dogs went away until BoB was firstly he wanted some water so he twined his way back home with his amazing car that was on the side of the haunted tree but he was the only man on earth walking towards the haunted place,

 

The Alarm

Today we had to write about a short clip we watched. Our goal was to describe IN DETAIL what we saw. This was just a practice so then when we wrote our own stories, we know how to write in detail and don't forget to leave things out. It helps the reader get a picture in their head, like a movie, of what I am writing.

This is the clip we used.
(Only the first 1 minute - about the boy sleeping through his alarms)



This is what I wrote.
The gentle breeze blow through the open window the curtains waved softly through the window that had speeding wind with a screaming beautiful radio the clock schimley changed to 700 but before  it was 659 amso it was to tell him to wake up causa his amazing song that tried  to make him calm so when his song came up he was so tired causa he came back from school at 5.00 in the morning so after his munits his teacher said  you can go home and have a sleep causa you did get to sleep that is why he was sleeping the whole time when his song came up he turned it off so he can go to sleep so he woke up to eat then he got his amazing silver gan to shot his watch so it dazint have to make any noise spawned but he still had his radio that can tell them to still wake up so he did not no so the next day he was woken up causa his radio alarm on the radio so he was so so mad that he really wanted to shot it but he did not throw it out cause he won't be able to wake up for school early so he did not shot it but when he was sleeping he was dreaming of him not learning so he woke up so he said that was just a dream he said so he went back to sleep.                

Do you think I have described what happened in lots of detail?
Please leave me a comment to let me know if I did achieve my goal or not?

Once upon a time there was a friendly cat called ginga . he was a brave cat and he yose to
come inside to when he sees me. come back from school he speeds up to me then

my story

In a sunny day I went for a walk

In the forest I could hear birds

They were scared and because

Of a scary woodcutter was cutting scary haunted tree I said stop cutting the scary haunted tree but he still did not listen stop cutting the tree when he said why not cut it causa that was my farit tree If you cut it I will cry.

 

yesterday we went to the pools to learn how to
swim at the pools but on monday I did not go
cause I had to come back with my mum,sister,brother and me but on tuesday that was so fun swimming there that was very fun I hope I
have fun next time when I go swimming.